sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
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You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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