I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
