And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
