We named our party play list daddy issues
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
