Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
