Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
