is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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