I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
