Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
