I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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