oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
where are my eyebrows?
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