Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
