after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
