hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize