Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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