If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
