Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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