we're blogging at a bar
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
