Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
