I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
