Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
