I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize