Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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