I've blown a few things in my day
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize