I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
