please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize