Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
