I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
