I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
