I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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