Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize