I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize