Im at strip club and am horny
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
