she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
