I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i love accidental penises.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
