I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
