I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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