I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
