i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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