i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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