i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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