Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
