i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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