I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
