WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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