I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
