She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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