Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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