No more Irish car bombs ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Everyone says I win the strip club
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
