from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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