plz talk dirty to me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
