I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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