You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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