She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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