I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
