Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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