Sponge bath it is.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
