someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize