I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I could make wine with my vomit
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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