Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
