Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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