i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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