I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize