What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So here I am, sexting at work.
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