People in love make me want to vomit
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
