whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
