What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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