Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize